Insurance Transparency Project

Hello,

I’m the Insurance Transparency Project War Eagle, a fictional character created by Dean Starkman. I may not exist, but I do have an important job to do, and that is, to help ITP broaden the discourse about the U.S. insurance industry in general and its response to Hurricane Katrina in particular. What’s my job? Oh, a little research, tech support, billing, filing. I get coffee. But mainly, my job is to be funny and help Dean and whole gang here at ITP employ humor to leaven a serious, sprawling and often difficult subject. A lot of you may find this device overly clever and obnoxious, even condescending. But look at it this way, you are now deep into a blog about Katrina and insurance. I think my point is clear.
But back to me. Some of you fans of Southeastern Conference football may recognize me. I used to be one of the mascots at Auburn University. But Dean felt strongly that Auburn already had a nickname and mascot — the Tigers — and that the university could spare one. Besides, we here at ITP are Alabama fans and have been, for some reason, since we were kids. We were working in Alabama when Bear Bryant died and were very moved. We loved it when the Tide beat those thugs from Miami to win the national championship that year. Plus one of our best friends used to play for the Tide’s golf team. We also remember when Pat Dye was Auburn’s coach. What a jerk. Fuck Auburn.

So, on Aug. 29, 2005, just as Katrina was hitting, a team of ITP commandos broke into the Auburn aviary in Opelika and spirited me back to the ITP compound on Joralemon Street in Brooklyn. (That’s right. That guy flapping around at Auburn games is an imposter. What a joke, really.) Anyway, I was cleaned, fed, groomed and brainwashed, and now all I think about is insurance, and, you know, mice … and women eagles. But mostly insurance. And, you bet, I’m Jewish. I’m trying to be more observant, but, you know, it’s not easy, with all the rush rush these days. Did I mention I’m single?